I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
