dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING