Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.

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(248): I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food. http://tfl.nu/368q

Replies (59) Good night (841) Bad night (3792)
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(419): View more from Ohio

The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

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(419): The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song. http://tfl.nu/rv8e

Replies (38) Good night (9067) Bad night (1259)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

(513): View more from Ohio

She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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(513): Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen. (1-513): She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do. (513): She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses. http://tfl.nu/52u6

Replies (35) Good night (1440) Bad night (4937)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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(704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1

Replies (18) Good night (4165) Bad night (1012)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

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(440): he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life. http://tfl.nu/ggva

Replies (14) Good night (8523) Bad night (992)
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(757): View more from Virginia

1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat

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(757): 1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat http://tfl.nu/2xgh

Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (3199)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

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(330): I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now. http://tfl.nu/yqbr

Replies (10) Good night (3525) Bad night (1382)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.

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(608): Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage. http://tfl.nu/zk4v

Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (2542)
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(207): View more from Maine

Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?

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(207): Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims? http://tfl.nu/se1q

Replies (7) Good night (1500) Bad night (494)
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(772): View more from Florida

I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?

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(772): I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have? http://tfl.nu/a8zx

Replies (14) Good night (1593) Bad night (463)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...

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(706): Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something... http://tfl.nu/hryz

Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (740)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.

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(757): You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else. http://tfl.nu/0zf9

Replies (20) Good night (1074) Bad night (440)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?

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(201): Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend? http://tfl.nu/yz0d

Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (296)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

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(303): Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles http://tfl.nu/b1h9

Replies (0) Good night (631) Bad night (275)
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(231): View more from Michigan

It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.

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(231): It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex. http://tfl.nu/riag

Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (287)

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