Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

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  (917): still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/v49x
  Replies (6) Good night (1210) Bad night (3814)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.

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  (989): I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance. http://tfl.nu/0t4j
  Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (3807)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her

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  (540): hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her http://tfl.nu/8ahn
  Replies (19) Good night (11298) Bad night (1517)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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  (716): I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one. http://tfl.nu/p9u2
  Replies (5) Good night (1220) Bad night (4063)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.

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  (904): When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why. http://tfl.nu/7466
  Replies (7) Good night (2379) Bad night (1062)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway

  (925): View more from California

  I hate that you know that from experience

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  (206): you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway (925): I hate that you know that from experience http://tfl.nu/zmuh
  Replies (11) Good night (1396) Bad night (2450)
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  (805): View more from California

  Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.

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  (805): Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/87ng
  Replies (6) Good night (891) Bad night (1770)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.

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  (602): After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum. http://tfl.nu/w0v8
  Replies (5) Good night (1982) Bad night (655)
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  (951): View more from California

  I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

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  (951): I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them. http://tfl.nu/loif
  Replies (33) Good night (2055) Bad night (1077)
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  (420): View more from

  Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.

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  (420): Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides. http://tfl.nu/bzue
  Replies (5) Good night (1557) Bad night (602)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  yeah...that's gonna come up in court

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  (816): yeah...that's gonna come up in court http://tfl.nu/wily
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (799)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this

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  (703): So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this http://tfl.nu/pt0i
  Replies (6) Good night (1176) Bad night (549)
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  (562): View more from California

  New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.

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  (562): New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches. http://tfl.nu/v2w2
  Replies (9) Good night (894) Bad night (487)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.

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  (860): I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were. http://tfl.nu/p58y
  Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (405)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...

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  (419): I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord... http://tfl.nu/yyau
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (408)

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