What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present