Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1304) Bad night (1512)
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  (925): View more from California

  just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

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  (925): just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck. http://tfl.nu/ybk3
  Replies (61) Good night (3898) Bad night (1143)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she looked like the before picture.

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  (540): she looked like the before picture. http://tfl.nu/zq32
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (3956)
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  (949): View more from California

  I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.

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  (949): I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads. http://tfl.nu/gq0b
  Replies (24) Good night (5278) Bad night (642)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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  (212): Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?! http://tfl.nu/8o3k
  Replies (18) Good night (1225) Bad night (4527)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

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  (615): She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse. http://tfl.nu/chf5
  Replies (6) Good night (1021) Bad night (2234)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..

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  (601): Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store.. http://tfl.nu/p81s
  Replies (9) Good night (2356) Bad night (790)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left

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  (330): I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left http://tfl.nu/2seq
  Replies (16) Good night (810) Bad night (2379)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.

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  (202): Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay. http://tfl.nu/iy0k
  Replies (10) Good night (558) Bad night (1896)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

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  (304): Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow http://tfl.nu/l8ph
  Replies (10) Good night (3922) Bad night (602)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.

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  (708): All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door. http://tfl.nu/n3s0
  Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (532)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.

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  (604): I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner. http://tfl.nu/27g8
  Replies (7) Good night (1169) Bad night (432)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with

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  (425): My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with http://tfl.nu/lkbr
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (353)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements

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  (727): Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements http://tfl.nu/wb2j
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (186)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  We're showing the video later bring pizza

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  (919): i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF (1-919): We're showing the video later bring pizza http://tfl.nu/1zdw
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (167)

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