I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?