I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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