it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize