Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
