STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
