you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
