ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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