my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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