She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
