It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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