plz talk dirty to me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
