Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
