i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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