woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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