Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
