Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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