I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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