Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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