Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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