I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
