yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
sex in a hospital.. check
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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