She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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