worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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