Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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