No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
