it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
