did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
