Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
