Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
