question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You are the jesus of drinking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize