i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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