U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My balls are so social today.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
