My hand turned me down
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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