we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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