new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
