i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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