So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
