I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
