My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights