I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
