Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.