im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am