hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.