ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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