he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
