He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
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You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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