Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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