i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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