I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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