I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
