if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
