His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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