That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
His hands were made for my vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
