and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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