could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
