Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize