i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
