I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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