Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God, I missed his penis.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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