he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
