I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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