The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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